Misguided Silver Linings
by Yesthosearehornsundermyhalo
Summary: My life as I knew it was ripped away from me and I had to force myself to rise from the ashes, but how could I when I was surrounded by fire. Saving myself had become impossible and I needed someone to save me, to help me get my silver lining, who would have thought that my hero found me; in Forks of all places. Maybe my life wasn't as misguided as I thought. Bella / Jasper
1. Fork in the Road

**Misguided Silver Lining**

_A/N: I don't own Twilight, but all story ideas are original_

**Prologue**

"I'm sorry it's too late" The quiet voice echoed, pain radiating through every word.

"It can't be too late, she's stronger then this." A voice of desperation met with fear chased the statement. "She needs her new start, she deserves her silver lining."

"This isn't how she should get it." The first voice responded with reason.

"I know that but what other choice do I have?"

"It needs to be her choice, not the choice of a monsters."

"So what can I do?"

"You need to give her the chance, you need to change this?"

"How?"

"You know how Jasper, the question is not whether she is strong enough, but whether you are?"

The room went silent as he placed his hands around her wrist, every hope and prayer was on him, he let his lips trace the small dent below her hand where her veins came to the surface; before he let his instincts take over.

He tore himself away, praying he wasn't too late.

Her breathing was the only thing that broke the silence, every eye upon her until her eyes opened.

**Chapter One – Fork in the Road  
Song: Misguided Ghosts – Paramore: Brand New Eyes**

**Love that once hung on the wall, used to mean something but now it means nothing.**

Today was the day I said goodbye, leaving behind the past I had known and loved to the present of brown cardboard moving boxes filled with everything I own. A choice, believe me, that was not mine but one that was made for me. If I had my choice I would be staying put in Phoenix and forgetting the last couple of months ever happened. But that couldn't happen; life didn't have a rewind button.

For the next couple of hours the entire contents of my life were piled into a truck set for a small town named Forks, Washington State. In other words a complete separation from the life I knew to a spec on the map town where I would have to spend the next couple of years until I could escape the mundane and go to the land of my dreams, Italy or my Australia, France, Canada? Anywhere but the same country as my family.

I sat in the back seat of Phil's car as I watched the house I grew up in slowly fade away in the distance. As that house faded away so did Isabella, all that was left was a lifeless empty shell. Maybe I was being melodramatic, but when all that you know is suddenly ripped away in a matter of weeks, I think my reaction wasn't too left field.

I couldn't help remember the day mom came home, smile as wide as the ocean as she declared proudly. "I've started internet dating." And from there it all went down hill. She met Phil, a small troll like man, blindly I encouraged her wanting the best for her, but in doing that I didn't realise I would have to let go of everything I knew and loved. Phil won her heart through a series of instant messages, phone calls and skype sessions. I wanted to vomit at the love struck look my mother got in her eyes every time she spoke of him. Four weeks later, over email of all things, Phil proposed.

Yep, I know, email proposal, the epitome of romance!...kill me.

The crazier part, my mom said yes.

Let that sink in, four week, never met, email of proposal and she said yes.

People think Disney Princesses have problems….

Their love was patient; their love was kind there love made my mother lose her mind.

What was even worse then that, yes I know what your thinking, how could it possibly get worse?

Cue the eye rolls people!

She married him on the first day they physically met. Oh yeah, I'm not kidding, believe me I wish I was.

So this is what landed me here, in a car going to Forks, leaving behind the heat of Phoenix for the cold and rain, if felt like the new area replicated my personal feelings for the place. My eyes faded to the chair in front as I placed my iPod in my ears and closed my eyes trying to forget everything and everyone around me. I hated my new life, I didn't really know what specifically started the down fall, all I knew was I had fallen.

Was Phil really problem? Or was it more the sudden change? Naturally people have difficulties with change, the world rejects the new at first but after awhile warms up to it. Was that really all it was, or was there something under his smile that only I could see. I couldn't help but get antsy every time he opened his peculiarly shaped mouth. On the outside Phil really did look harmless, ugly, but harmless, but I couldn't help my heckles rising every time he came into the room. It felt like he was always watching me as if I was prey he just couldn't reach, I think that is what scared me the most. But my best friend although agreeing with me that Phil did have a creepy way of doing things still thought this reaction of mine was just to the change.

I suppose it was because there was never a father; it was just mom and I.

We had done so much together and we were so close. I never imagined mom would let anyone into our little perfect family and if she ever did I imagined it would have been slow and very much with my approval. And originally nothing did change, mom and I were still super close when she first "met" Phil, we still did everything normally, it was going slow and life was good.

Then things started to dramatically change.

Mom stopped talking to me as much, all she would do was go to work, come home, eat and talk to him. To say the least I started to fall deep into a dark hole and no one noticed because really the only major person I had in my life was my mom and suddenly she was gone. I wasn't depressed, well I don't think I was, but I definitely wasn't myself. My bright bubbly personality started to dwindle away like embers of a fire in the wind. My friends started to treat me differently because they had no idea what to do for me so I slowly faded away at school too. My school performance started to drop and I began to want to spend more time alone. I lost the will to fight for it too, my common phrase of the day was, 'who cares anyway.'

I tried to do all I could to try and make the "family" façade work but to do that I had to be someone I wasn't and that I couldn't do. So the life of my mother and her new husband became perfect as mine spiralled out of control. Maybe Mom did try to reach out but by then it was too late for me to see it and before I knew it, Phil was permanently in my life. When he came home, I was a shadow on the wall that was too easily ignored and that was exactly how mom and Phil wanted it. In moving they were making it official that they were making their lives together and the past of mom and I was non-existent, therefore I become non-existent. Even if that wasn't how the world would have seen it, that is what it felt like.

A happy marriage with a plus one; a unwanted plus one.

I let the loud music playing in my ears consume me, so my thoughts wouldn't return to the bad memories that were now my life. I rested my head against the cold glass and slowly traced my finger across the glass making a small pattern in the fog from my breath. Before I could comprehend the time, Forks with its small town and quaint infrastructure spread out before my eyes, it was only about three in the afternoon but it already seemed to be night with the cover of clouds and rain. People walked around with their arms tightly around them from the cold as puffs of smoke displayed they were still breathing. The town wasn't as small as I was expecting, it was smaller, there were no brands or chain stores, and everything was family owned. The only thing that didn't have a last name attached to the title was the school where I would be attending. Mom turned to me as if obliged asking if I was excited and I simply let my shoulders rise and fall not knowing how I felt about anything.

A cold chill ran down my spine the car turned and entered into the driveway of the new place my "family" would call home. It was an old two-story white painted timber panel house with the classic blue window trims. A small light illuminated the front door, which was situated on a small deck, below were a couple of over grown hedges and a large tree to the left of the house. A forest took up the rest of the space to the left and behind the house; at least I'd have somewhere to hide.

When the Truck stopped I quietly opened my door and made my way to the cabin of the truck. I grabbed the closest boxes that were labelled mine and went into the house that Phil opened. Dust motes floated around as I turned the lights on illuminating the front room and through to the living kitchen area. It was small, cold and felt empty even though most of our furniture was already moved in. It didn't smell right, it didn't look right, it wasn't home.

I rolled my eyes and made my way up the stairs to my new bedroom, it was a tiny bit larger then my normal room but didn't have the memories that my room contained. My bed was against the wall facing a bay window, my desk was at the side under the second window and my closet was beside my door. I dropped the box and went and fell on my bed hoping by some miracle it would consume me and I wouldn't have to face another day of misery. I tried to let my eyes close, hoping to sleep but instead I was interrupted, 'You need to go and get the rest of the boxes and bring them into the house now.' Phil commanded, with the look from his eyes I went out and did exactly as he said.

Phil hadn't physically hit me, but he had given me a verbal beating more times than I'd like to remember, he knew how to emotionally manipulate and connive and I couldn't match him. A couple of times we butted heads and I came out much worse, I used to be the queen of the debating scene but I felt like a defenceless little kid against him. So I did what he said with a hope nothing more would escalate.

By the time I had finished all the unpacking Phil and mom were both blissfully sleeping and I was left to take care of myself. I wished I could have fallen asleep but after doing all the work my body was sufficiently awake. I slowly opened each of the boxes and placed all of my possession in the places they fitted best. Without wanting to I fell asleep at my desk as I went through the old photos I had taken of the life I had before.

As the sun rose in the cloud covered sky my room was fully unpacked and in looked almost like my room back home. My desk was already messy covered with my laptop computer, old school books, my beloved camera still hooked up to my computer and the sketching books I would draw my emotions away into. On my bookshelf sat all my classic books all sorted by author and title along with some trashy teen novels. Beside my bed was a small table with a lamp and clock on it and on the other side was a chest of draws that were filled with my clothes and on top were photos of my friends and the girl I used to be along with a bunch of dried roses. My old rocking chair sat in the bay window and looked out onto the forest that surrounded three sides of our house. I decided the four walls that were called my room were closing in on me, so I quietly went down stairs to escape the claustrophobia that was beginning to seep into me.

I went to the fridge and began making breakfast for myself and the rest of my "family" as was tradition in current months. Just as the bread popped out of the toaster Renee my mother came down the stairs, her hair in an absolute shambles. "Morning Mom," I said in a hopeless tone knowing it would be ignored and it was. Phil followed and I once again greeted him but like my mother had before him I was ignored again. I served up the breakfast and sat in silence as my parents engaged in an x-rated conversation, after I was finished I picked up the plates and took them to the sink where I had to hold in the vomit that arose in my mouth from the disgust I held for my mom and her decisions.

They were still newlyweds as everyone said, I didn't think it was an excuse like everyone else did, so I left to save my poor ears. Phil and my mom were very direct and very passionate to say the least, so when they started to talk to one another about future plans I quickly left the room.

I went outside the house to get some fresh air with my camera clutched in my hands, escaping away from the murky stale air inside. The place was so green and lush I couldn't believe my eyes, back home in Phoenix our only garden were Cactus's, so to actually have green trees and bushes around was so weird and alien. If only the clouds would break so the sun could add some light. A cold breeze caught my dark brown hair and made it dance in the wind and sent a shiver through my whole body. Venturing deeper into the forest I began taking photos of all the different flora and fauna, trying to find a small connection to this place.

I didn't know how deep into the forest I had gotten until I could have sworn I heard a twig break behind me, I turned in absolute fear expecting a bear or some sort of animal. But there was absolutely nothing, which I think was scarier. As I continued to try and find my way out I could hear strange wind patterns rushing through some of the trees. It was all a little weird, especially when a branch snapped off and landed a couple of meters away from me. I don't know why, but I didn't feel alone. I must honestly be going crazy or maybe I was already crazy and this was the symptom. Even though I didn't feel entirely safe, I couldn't help but want to return every day to the forest.

And I did for the next three days before I had to start school. Every day walking deeper and deeper, always hearing the weird whooshes of air pockets and twigs snapping but I got more and more comfortable with it as I walked on. But what my days in the forest really revealed to me was that my mom and Phil didn't really care what I did with my time or even where I was. They were always coming and going, which really didn't bother me too much, I just hated being alone and it was very clear to my here in Forks, that is exactly what I would be; alone.

Sitting out in the forest just inside the tree line sketching the tree in front of me I heard mom come down for breakfast which I had waiting on the table. Checking my watch I knew I needed to head to school, I wish I could just stay in my forest forever. As I entered the kitchen, Mom actually looked up at me and asked if I was ready for school, which ofcause I was, but it was really the first I had heard from her in days. Ever since she married Phil her voice changed, she didn't sound like my mom and she certainly didn't smell like her either as I walked past her through the kitchen.

I took the steps to at a time and I was quickly greeted with my room. It didn't smell like home so I burnt my favourite candles smothering my room in the smell of strawberries and raspberries making me feel a little better. I took out a pair of jeans and an black knit jumper and my brownish / red leather jacket and headed to the bathroom. As I let the heat of the water run over my body trying to wash away the fear of having to start at a new school and the fear my life was really changing in a way I didn't want it to.

After I had all of my clothes on I went to the mirror to inspect how I looked. My deep brown eyes looked dead to me and missed the normal spark they used to have, my skin had taken on a new colour of pale with my new surroundings and my lips were a slight red from me biting them in concentration and fear, my hair wasn't going to do anything but just sit how it always would do I ran a quick brush through it and left it alone. I went back into my bedroom and placed six brand new books into my school bag which had faded with age and headed down stairs. I picked up my phone and keys on my way out the door and said a quick goodbye to my parents who couldn't have, at that point, cared less.

My old truck sat beside the entry into the forest, Phil drove it here with mom when they came to deliver all the furniture, I think it was also to stop me from running away too. I slammed the door shut hoping most of the cold air could be kept out as I started the engine and turned up the heat. But nothing could keep colds sharp fingers out and I could still see my breath as I drove down the windy wet roads. Forks was the wettest and dare I say one of the coldest places in the whole of the US! I still wasn't sure if I loved or hated it, sure the forest was amazing but this cold was ridiculous.

But I think was made me feel the coldest was that I felt like a cheap imitation as I headed to school, I wasn't going to be the Bella I wanted to be, even though I tried, I didn't know how to get back to being the girl everyone knew and loved. I just hoped I could duck under the radar and hide, praying and counting down the days before I could escape this small town and this life I was living for a new start. A clean slate, it was my silver lining to all of this and I would do everything I could to get it.

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	2. Staying Under the Radar

Misguided Silver Linings

**Chapter Two – Staying Under The Rader**

As the truck rolled to a stop in the school parking lot I knew staying under the radar would be impossible, for some reason everyone in the school chose to hang out in the car park before school, so my big orange truck definitely made a scene. I felt every eye on me as I passed the parade of faces. Slamming the door of the car only added to the obvious show I was doing for everyone in the lot, I prayed to every God that would listen that I wouldn't fall as I made my way up to the admin building.

Walking through the main office door I was expecting to see more students but a greying lady seldom sat behind her desk sipping coffee as she typed away aimlessly on her computer. When her eyes landed on me she smiled showing a full set of coffee stained teeth, "You must be Isabella Dywer." Vomit rose in my throat, how could my name be associated with his, I wasn't his daughter and I'd never be, he made that much clear.  
"It's actually Swan." I correct hoping not to betray too much information.  
"But your mother and father came in," Oh God, the town was so small it had never heard of a child's last name being different from the parents, maybe I should have just driven away when I had the chance.  
"Ah, it's my mother and step-father. I kept my last name."  
"Oh well give me a second while I change this." Five minutes later, I'm pretty sure I watch the receptionist gain three more grey hairs as she tried to work me out.

"Here you go Isabella, your map, schedule, semester plan and attendance form, you need all your teachers to sign this and then return it to me."  
"Don't you think I'll go to all my classes?" I asked indignantly  
"Well your father."  
"Step-father,"  
"Gave us reason to believe you were not so good at attending you last school."  
"Ofcause he would, no problem." Yeah under the radar wasn't going to work and today couldn't have gotten worse.

Before she could say anything more I exited through to the hall, there was a large rush of students heading to first period, grabbing the map I tried to be discrete as I could trying to find the right room. I hoped that maybe I could make it to the class and hide in the back, remaining invisible. But all my hope was in vein when a blonde boy with far too much gel seemed to lock onto me like a heat seeking missile. "Hello, you have to be Isabella Dywer?"  
"It's actually Bella Swan". I said walking around him trying to avoid eye contact.  
"Well I am Mike Newton and I shall be your buddy today,"  
"Thank you but no thank you, I can find my way around and I don't want to impose plus all my classes are in the same area," I said politely brushing him off.

People didn't know how to understand me so I avoided trying to make friends, why should I when they only led to more pain. Boyfriends were even more out of the question. "Well you can at least sit with me at lunch and I am not taking no for an answer see you there." Mike persisted then left before I had a chance to protest.

"Oh great my day is getting better with every second." I said to myself sarcasm thick in my voice. As I got to my first class, Creative Writing, I was greeted by a curious woman, her name was Mrs. Maud. She has her long hair tied back in a massy ponytail, her glasses were very large and round and I think she was still a hippy. She welcomed me in, handing me a book while letting me sit at the back of the class. She also didn't get me to go out the front and introduce myself – thank God – I hated the first day ritual of getting up in front of the class and saying who I am excreta.

The class began and thankfully I seemed to be getting ignored. That was all I asked of life right now, to be ignored. I used to hate being ignored; I thought it was a great insult. When I had a normal life I was the school newspaper photographer, head debater and ironically also on the cheer squad. Now I just want to fade in the background and be numb so maybe I could figure out what the hell to do with this life I was given. 'Stop thinking about everything Bella, focus on school!' I told myself and I disengaged my mind from its current thought processors just in time to catch the teacher instructing the class that we were to complete a short creative story on what we see around us and after thirty minutes we would read them out –oh this was going to be great.

I opened the book the teacher gave me to find notes already inside of it, the writing was so beautiful and perfect, like old fashion calligraphy. I raised my hand and Mrs Maud came over.  
"What's the trouble dear?" Normally I would debate the fact that I didn't have antlers coming out of my head so therefore how could I be a dear but because of my new state I just let it slide.  
"I have someone else's book? There must have been a mistake."  
"There are no such things as mistakes, that book is now yours, the last person who had it has left this class and why waste a perfectly good book, just start where he left off." She walked away,- great my teacher was not just a hippy but she was also insane – I opened the book once again to a new page and began writing – well I tried to write – my mind was completely blocked.

'Write down the truth,' the thought boomed through my mind. I placed my pen to the paper and began writing, What is around me? A group of boring people who will never be anything more to me then human beings, a town that was filled with small town insipid people. Then there was me, broken and lost Bella, another unimportant unnoticed person in this little town. All I was doing was polluting the atmosphere with carbon dioxide. 'Stop it Bella! Get your mind off it and write down what you see!' I told myself but I had nothing productive to write. I flipped through the first couple of pages that were already filled. I stumbled across a title that intrigued me, 'What is surrounding me,' the title was exactly what we were doing in class, having trouble with my ideas I decided to read his and steal some of what he said.

_'I am currently surrounded by life, yet I am stuck in a world that feels dead. The world is constantly moving on yet I am standing still. Everything around me is unimportant; there is nothing to live for, especially not in this little town.' _I didn't need to read anymore to know that the words were almost on the same wavelength as mine. Then I got inspiration, I flipped back to the page I was on and began to write.

After the thirty minutes the teacher started to call out names of those who would read theirs out. Most were vivid descriptions into the environment surrounding the classroom and a couple where vivid descriptions of the class room itself and those inside of it.

I thought I was going to be safe but then the teacher said two words that I wish she didn't. 'Isabella Swan,' – oh great she called me, seems like I will be getting the first day humiliation of standing in front of the class – I looked down at my page and began to read.

_'What surrounds me is a question I am always asking myself and one I never can quite answer. There is so much yet at the same time so little. Nothing holds importance, it is just there. The world is alive, moving, growing and changing. Yet everything surrounding me doesn't move, it is lifeless, soulless. Every sound comes together to create silence, every sight comes together to form darkness and I am stuck in the middle, unmoving, unchanging. Life is unimportant; it just has to be bared.'_

After I finished I looked up to see every single mouth on the floor and I felt my cheek start to burn. 'Well done Isabella, you have captured what is truly around you, class pay attention, this is amazing writing.' Mrs Maud stated, I just ignored her and slowly went back to my seat. Just as I sat down the bell rang and I quickly grabbed my bag and made a swift exit.

My English class was next door and I didn't know if that was a good thing, a walk would have given me a chance to think and get some fresh air not having to walk far meant my mind didn't have a massive chance to wonder. Though it still did, my thoughts returned to the page in my book, who was this boy? The bell rang and I was able to escape my current thoughts. Mr. Connor was my English teacher; he was one of those intolerable teachers who made me stand at the front. 'Hello, my name is Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella, I am sixteen,' I mumbled with my eyes plastered on the floor. The teacher then thankfully let me go down to my seat. I had to sit next to someone in this class, which I didn't mind because she seemed to be as quiet as I was, well as quiet as I tried to seem to be. She smiled at me and the look in her eyes was one of understanding, she seemed different then most of the girls I had met, if I ever wanted a friend, I think she would be a good one.

Class went quickly, the class just started studying Romeo and Juliet. It had to be one of my favourite books, it was a place I could escape to, instead of my normal hard, mundane, insipid, numb life. Gosh that was a hell of a lot of negative adjectives yet all seemed and felt needed. I grabbed my bags and for the first time the girl beside me spoke.  
"Hello Bella, I am Angela." She smiled at me - I could tell she was very shy -.  
"Hi Angela, how are you?" I was trying to be overly nice though I kind of felt as though I was setting myself up for a fail. "I am good thank you, I was thinking, you probably don't know many people why don't you come and sit with me and my friends,"  
"I would love to but I already got asked by Mike Newton," I replied very sadly, truly I was happy I could sneak into the cafeteria grab a water and escape to the library.  
"Well it's ok cause he sits with us," Angela replied not knowing my true feelings and just like that my plan to escape to the security of the library was taken away and I would be forced to fend for myself in the cafeteria.

We walked together only speaking about light topics like the weather – which I found out was always cloudy and wet, I didn't mind I liked the cold and the wet, well for now - Angela and I walked over to the lunch line. She ordered a vegetarian salad and I got a bottled of water, my stomach was doing flips, all I wanted to do was run and hide.

Angela walked me over to the table where all her friends including Mike were.  
"Hey Isabella, I thought I was going to have to come and find you," Mike nearly yelled as his greeting, I just tried to smile. "Hi Isabella, I am Jessica," a short pretty brunette said from under Mikes arm.  
"I prefer Bella just Bella," I replied trying to be cordial but I wasn't really comfortable.  
"Awesome, I am Eric!" The boy introduced himself as he came to Angela and wrapped his arms around her. Although they all seemed welcoming the only genuine one was angela, Jessica looked at me with contempt because Mike looked at me with obvious lust. Eric was being polite but I could tell he didn't really care whether I was there or not. I didn't want to stay.

I need to think of an excuse to get out of there, another two couples were walking over I recognized two from other classes it was Tyler and Lauren with another two I had never met. This was getting bad it was dating central. I hated love, my parents bragged enough about it at home I didn't need it here.

"I have to go back to the office and hand in some more forms," I lied doing all I could to get out of there.  
"I could walk you over there," Mike offered, I had a feeling Jessica resented me more because of Mikes latest statement, "No thank you, I know the way," I finished the death stare from Jessica when I stated that.  
"Well hurry back," Angela called as I made my way swiftly out the door.

Now that I was finally out of that situation I had to think of something else to do to preoccupy my mind so it didn't wander to places it shouldn't go again. My feet took me to the outdoor quad, it was like a sanctuary for me, no noise, not a lot of people and all the space I could ever dream for. It was perfect, a perfect escape from the mundane, insipid life I was forced to live.

Pulling out my camera from my bag I began to snap some photos of the panorama around me, the cross between the buildings and the forest, the grey of the clouds with the green of the grass. There was a slight fall of rain but nothing to perturb me too much. I decided to wander through the empty walk ways while everyone was inside eating. The school didn't seem so scary while it was empty, it almost felt cathartic to walk alone through the emptiness as if I was walking my own life journey. Without realising it I had walked straight to the library.

I found a corner on the top level of the library I pushed my bag off my shoulder and rested my back against the wall and slid down and opened the copy of Romeo and Juliet I was given in English. It was always one of my favourite books and I found it timeless. As my mind left the world I was living in I found myself on the beautiful streets of Verona, walking around soaking up the Tuscan sun. When I was reading I was young fair Juliet, naive and untroubled, until my love would come and turn the world upside down. My eyes continued reading the pages and I continued to fall deeper in the world I longed to be in. I could see it all and most importantly I could feel it all. I was lost in the book; no I was drowning in the book. As I finally got up to where Romeo was seeing the alchemist, I was forcefully taken out of the book. Black written words covered and distorted the page, the writing was oddly familiar. I knew exactly where I had seen it before; the question was how did I end up getting this same guy's books over again. Maybe Mrs Maud was right, maybe mistakes didn't happen. Though mind you what would you say my life was?

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	3. Author's Note

Misguided Silver Linings

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Okay, I hate giving author's notes, cause who really wants to read them but this is important and will only be apart of this story for a week or two!

SOOOOO I got a brilliant review which made it clear to me that I had a bit of an error in my continuity of my story, because Jasper was smelling Bella through Alice's visions which was a little bit to wild and extreme, so I need to go back and do a little bit of changing and tweaking, hence the large break in the writing.

The revised chapter three will be up today with revised chapter four coming tomorrow. So please re-read them, I promise I will put more new stuff so it won't feel like you're reading the same thing again!

Then hopefully a new chapter every couple of days.

Thank you so much for reading so far, I promise this story will be worth reading to the end!

Peace out

YTAHUMH


	4. Human

**Misguided Silver Linings**

**Chapter Three - Human  
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**Song: Human - Christina Perri  
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**BELLA'S POV**

Scanning the words scrawled almost perfectly against the copy of Romeo and Juliet, I couldn't help but read every word.

'_How could he be so weak to give up his love, yet how could he be so lucky for the chance of poison.'_

The words leapt out at me and I realized the sad sullen words were familiar because they were the ones of the curious boy whose Creative Writing book I now posed. "How could this be?" I asked myself doubtingly, I shook my head. Just as I was about to continue to begin drowning in the world of Verona a bell startled me back into reality. My eyes wandered the walls searching for a clock and when they read three in the afternoon, I didn't know how to feel. I had missed my last two lessons of my first day, but at least I missed out on sport –hand eye coordination and Bella don't belong in the same sentence – but oh what a great first impression.

I got up from the floor and grabbing my bag, as I slowly made my way out of the library, I couldn't help run my fingers along the shelves of books wishing I could hear all there words. When I reached the door a rush of cold air met me and a shiver ran through my entire body, I swear I was never going to get used to this. I never really had a problem the cold nor was I particularly enamored by it; but for some reason it made me feel better, the world around me was glum yet bursting with life; the grey of the skies mixed with the green of the trees; Such a stark contrast yet fitting all the same.

I made my way over to my truck which was standing tall and strong. Most people thought it was a hunk of junk, but it was my hunk of junk and it would make junk of anything it bumped into. It was unbreakable. I honestly thought it was the one thing in my life that couldn't be broken, I wish at times I could coat myself with the same sort of armor, because unlike my truck I could be broken. Really already I was.

Since mom's marriage, I had really given up on trying to change anything. When she first met Phil I had done some very uncharacteristic things such as rebel at school and more so at home, I withdrew myself and got to the point where every conversation with my mother turned into a screaming fight. As the day got closer to her meeting him and their subsequent marriage I became more extreme, clutching at straws I took a knife to my wrist in hopes of getting my mom to notice how far I was falling but it still wasn't enough. So instead of continuing down my path of destruction I decided to just give up and be broken. My mom didn't want to repair me, neither did anyone else, well there wasn't anyone else really. So I became this suddenly insecure, weak, quiet me. I didn't like it, but I didn't have the armor or Teflon coating I used to, so this was how I coped.

Getting into my truck, I turned the heater up as I made my way through the quite streets of Forks, it was quaint and neat but I wished I could have been anywhere but here. I wished I could have been in a busy town, where I could hide away, be apart of a mysterious crowd instead of the sore thumb in the small town. When I pulled up in front of the house I noticed my mother and Phil waiting for me. I knew nothing good could come from that, normally they would be away or too bemused with each other to pay me any attention at all. When I got closer the looks on their faces made my stomach churn they were in full swing honey moon mode, "Isabella, your mother and I are going out for the next week to pick up some stuff from my sisters house." Phil said not letting my mother speak, his tone was like that of a hypnotist smooth but deeply powerful and menacing. He was controlling and my mother was a doormat, not my pleas or screams would ever change that. The problem is, like most dangerous things in this world, they seem inviting at first, but when you get close enough they will attack and reveal the monster they really were. Phil was yet to fully crack, but I saw it there, bubbling under the surface, in the way he looked at me and ordered me around. So for my own protection and more so my mothers I simply agreed with everything he said and did what I need to. My flight instinct was to strong to do anything else.

Thus I could only agree with whatever Phil would have to say, because no matter what I said Phil was in charge and he was taking my mother away plus it was better, they would do their honey moon stuff when I wasn't in ear shot. I went to hug my mother but she didn't leave Phil's arms nor look from his gaze, she and Phil got into the already packed car and left. "She didn't even ask how my first day was." I complained to myself as I threw my bag onto the couch and made my way into the kitchen. Though mind you did I expect anything else.

I pulled out some frozen leftovers from the fridge and heated them in the microwave, as that heated I grabbed Romeo and Juliet again and sat down at the table with an early dinner reading of the saddest love story ever told. When I was done reading it for the hundredth time I looked up to rediscover my surroundings. Without realizing the sun had gone down and although I was in the kitchen with light, the rest of the house sat in dark silence. I went around turning all the lights on; something about this house always made me feel like I was being watched, that someone or something was just around the corner waiting to grab me. Morbidly I wish that something could kid nap me and take me far far away from here, yet at the same time the humanly fear I possessed would be in terror at the thought.

When I reached my bedroom I stepped in and my face met the floor in a very clumsy manner. Naturally I was a very clumsy person, but I hadn't tripped over my own feet for once but something hard on my path. Sadly it wasn't the first time Phil had left something in the dark for me to fall over, I sure it wouldn't be the last. He viewed it as punishment for me not cleaning it up in the first place. He was archaic and far to old fashioned for me. I quickly found the light and inspected what had tripped my over; It was a small box that was tarnished around the edges. I saw the label and I gasped, it read 'My Memory Box' it was a present from my mother when things were perfect. Inside were all my prized possessions and most loved photos. It was filled with my mother and I, tears slid down my cheeks and I knew it was because it finally set in that the mother I had known for so long was gone and she wasn't coming back, her body was still in the world but the person who was my mother and most importantly my best friend wasn't. I had really known it for months but it's like seeing things through a bubble, it doesn't set in until it's all popped. My tears soon turned into sobs and I found myself crumpled on the floor almost screaming in pain with the loss of my perfect world.

I suppose from the outside looking in, maybe I should have coped with it better, but it's just so hard. Knowing one thing your entire life to lose it without choice or want. I was like I had a limb amputated or lost my sight, everything I knew had changed. Maybe in ten years I'd look back and think it was a good change for the strength it gave me, but right now, in this very moment, everything sucked. My world was broken, like I was broken and at the moment in the silence of my room I wanted to hurt. To let all the pain come out, but no amount of tears would change anything.

I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up I found myself in a puddle of what was left of my tears, I didn't know it was possible but go figure. I hadn't truly cried since everything happened. I hadn't really sunk in and now it had.

My mother was never ever going to come back no matter what I did.

I ran to the toilet and my body rejected all that I had eaten the last day. I never knew someone could get so upset they had to be sick but here I was. Maybe it was food poisoning, God I hope it was food poisoning, I shouldn't let myself go through this. My whole body heaved as more tears rushed down my face; the pain of my body was almost as bad as the pain in my heart.

I let myself just lie on the tiled floor, just lying there not moving, not doing anything. After awhile the tears stopped running and I slowly picked myself off the floor. I got into the shower, my bones frozen from the tile floor, I wished in vein to wash the hurt away, but at least I got all the tears. I went down to the kitchen but the idea of food made me feel sick again. I walked into the lounge room and just sat there, sat in the darkness of early morning, my world was darkness but like the world around me, the morning was coming and even though I wanted the entire universe to stop, it wouldn't.

My mother was my world, she was all I ever had and now, she was gone. My heart broke.

The light in the fading stars told me there was more and I knew there would be, but my life felt like the sun peaking over the mountains only the be covered by clouds. I was alone; but something told me there was hope, I just need it to be soon.

**ALICE'S POV**

Being a vegetarian vampire is weird, but what is absolutely freakish is being able to see the future and more importantly hers. Months ago a girl I had never seen before popped into my head and since then she hasn't gotten out.

I was out in the forest with my husband Edward, more of a walking talking freak then I. Yeah, he could read minds, it was bloody annoying and made him really moody some times. We were searching for a nice place to have some alone time away from the rest of my veggie vampire family with their weird abilities and super hearing. Then out of nowhere, I see this face, a girl around the age of sixteen. She was obviously having a fight with a woman who had to be her mother, the confrontation was massive with a vase being smashed on the floor, the mother stormed out and the girl fell to her knees. The look in her eyes was one of brokenness and desperation, she grabbed a piece of the shattered glass and took it to her wrist. My thirst for her blood overtook the vision and sent it beyond my reach. Edward standing beside me had the same hungry look in his eyes, we knew we needed to talk about what I had seen but first we had to eat.

After that afternoon I saw little flicks of her during my days, She was brave and outgoing in her times at school that I saw but then a blackness covered her and there was no other way to describe her but broken. I had never seen her out of a vision so I didn't have the first clue as to help her but I searched for her as best as I could.

One evening while Edward and I were driving down to Port Angela's for a night walk along the beach I caught another glimpse of her crying herself to sleep as she clutched another wound on her wrist she had done herself. I was getting more worried as she was hurting herself so much, but still there was nothing I could do.

Weeks later I saw her again, sitting by a beach taking photo's of the ocean and the different surroundings, her wrists healed with no more signs of harm, bringing a small amount of solace to me that she had stopped hurting herself, why I wouldn't know, but I was glad she was being safer.

A day later I saw her at what I can only assume was her mother's wedding, she looked beautiful but defeated. Her smile is fake but it went completely unnoticed, when everyone had left the wedding chapel she broke into sobs on the ground, shaking as she tried to hold herself together. It took her a while but she slowly pulled herself but together enough to join in the wedding celebrations but out of all the visions she looked the worst in this one. She wasn't there behind her eyes, she was empty.

The vision of her was the longest visions I had ever had yet which also made me think she was special. Edward and I were at a lost as to how to react to it all, all the visions, all the things we saw, there was nothing we could do but we couldn't forget her. We decided the first day we saw her that we wouldn't tell the family, she would be our secret until we knew what we could do.

Jasper my brother who was an emotional metal detector knew something was up between us, he thought we had marital problems, so he would sit down with us once a week trying to council us until he worked out we were fine, so he made it almost his personal mission to find out what it was we were keeping from him but we gave him radio silence.

A couple of weeks of seeing nothing of my mystery girl a vision came to me while sitting around the dinner table during a family meeting. Packing boxes surrounded her, she was getting ready to move; Her hands gliding over the boxes as she made her way around her house. Her mother came in and picked up another box; her eyes went to the girl and then straight back to the door which she exited out of. The groom and obviously the girls step father came in and spoke to her in a mean sarcastic tone. "Come on Bella, smile, your mother is finally happy and we are going to a new place. You should be grateful to me. Forks will be the perfect place to have a new family." Bella who I now know her as nodded and went back to her room. She wanted to cry but she couldn't.

It then hit me BELLA, who ever she was, WAS COMING HERE!

I clocked out of my vision to see my family all looking at me expectantly. "So who is coming here?" Jasper asked nonchalantly.

"I don't really know, just a girl who I've had some strange visions of."

"Is she hot?" Emmett asked before getting a slap over the head from his wife Rose.

"She isn't hot but she sure is something," Edward replied to the table.

"Well I guess we'll all have to meet her," Carlisle responded thinking he was being diplomatic but as the words left his lips my eyes were clouded to another vision. Instead of being something that was happening at that point in time, it was a vision of what would happen if my family met Bella, everything seemed fine until Jasper locked his eyes on Bella and picked up her scent. The look of hunger in his eyes was uncontrollable, like nothing I had ever seen before, it wasn't like when I get hungry and need to eat, but like he hadn't seen water in years and would die without just a drop. I had only seen that look once before and that was when Emmett had met his singer a poor woman just minding her own business doing her washing, but no matter his self control Emmett sucked her dry. This wasn't good, I had to keep Jasper away from her, at all costs.

When I came back to the family was looking at me with cheerful expressions expecting my vision to have been positive about us meeting, but it all soon changed as my expression registered in their eyes."None of us can ever meet her,"

"What?" Jasper asked indignantly

"It's not something I can answer, we need to leave Forks and we need to forget about Bella entirely."

"I'm sorry Alice we can't do that," Carlisle stated

"Why?"

"Oh I don't know, because we all are settled, have a beautiful home and finally all have amazing jobs in which we can remain for some more years to come." Rose explained exasperated, she hated moving.

"Then we are going to have to stop going to school, because it's not safe for anyone."

"That is a compromise that can work." Carlisle reasoned.

"I have a problem with this, no school no way into college for me." Jasper argued

"We can just forge the documents we need."

"No Carlisle, I have only just gotten to a point where I can attend school without wanting to eat every person around me, I am not going to change that for one person, I want a somewhat normal life, I want to do everything the right way."

"Jasper you can't," I tried to get him to understand. "She will destroy you and all you have worked for."

"What the hell do you mean Alice?"

"She is your singer Jasper," Edward blurted out.

"Good, then let me get over her and know I will never have another problem for the rest of my existence with a singer."

"Jasper you can't just kill her."

"Who said anything about killing her?" Jasper replied angrily

"If she's your singer you haven't got a chance Jasper."

"I'm not you Emmett."

"No your not, you've had more blood then I have ever had and a whole lot less self-control then me."

"Yeah well screw the lot of you, if you want me out of school fine, but you can't protect her from me forever if she is living in this small town, unless you want to lock me up, but until then you can find me down at the river." Jasper stormed out of the house, slamming the door so hard it cracked the wall and splintered the door itself.

"Temper tantrums at one hundred and fifty how mature of him." Edward said trying to make light of the situation, but we all knew this was the start of something that wasn't going to end easily or happily. All that was left for us was to wait and hope that I would get a vision before Jasper had a chance to get a whiff.

**BELLAS POV**

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep on the couch until my alarm went off in my bedroom above me, I was shocked back into reality as the different room around me materialized as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I had been dreaming, dreaming about how life should have been and that scared me because what I was living was no where near the life I should have been living. I got off the couch and moved into the kitchen pulling out some coco pops I had bought myself as I turned on Good Morning America wanting to find some sort of reality in my life. The daily habit of getting ready for school kicked in again like it had back home and before I knew it was I dressed and ready to face another day of school, of trying to hide away and ignore the fact every eye was glued to me as the new girl.

Thankfully as the day progressed I was able to hide in the classes and simply focus on the work in front of me, I continued my lunches in the library however I actually left before my next class so I wasn't in the all afternoon. Slowly my days became habitual and the rest of the students stopped staring at me when they realized I wasn't anything interesting. It was just how I liked it, but I was lonely, except when I read the words of the mystery boy whose words I found in many different text books given to me and within more classic literature in the library. One especially abstract passage I found in a history book about the confederate war, it was only a line but in it I found humor and truth.

_"If only you were there you would know that this book is full of complete rubbish and is a distasteful representation of everything and everyone involved; if you are smart you would put it down and find a fairytale as it would have more truth behind it then this every will."_

He gave me hope, that maybe although I felt alone I wasn't, maybe I might bump into him one day in this small town, maybe one day I won't be so alone.

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	5. Angry

**Misguided Silver Linings**

**Chapter 4: Angry **

**Bella POV**

My eyes opened slowly as the sunlight of a new morning broke through the clouds that normally covered Forks. I sat up looking out my window, the street was empty bar my rusty truck, mom and Phil were still away, as I suspected would be the case. I didn't know whether to be happy or upset to be on my own again, at least this way I could completely avoid Phil and not have to walk on egg shells in my own home; if that's what you could call it.

I slowly got up and made my way to the bathroom trying to maintain a morning routine; I looked at myself in the mirror, my brown chestnut hair was saturated from the shower and I looked like I hadn't slept a moment last evening. "Well, that's as good as it is going to get." I concluded solemnly. "Halloween is coming early this year." I walked to the stairs and packed my bag for school, picking up my history novel from where I left it off. As I continued deeper although pages earlier told me to put the damn book down, I found red pen marks all through the pages correcting different facts and points of view. What made me laugh most were all cartoons drawn over the pictures of the different historical war identities.

Reading the words scattered throughout everything made me feel less alone but by now I was used to being on my own, before the wedding mom and Phil were always going out and leaving me alone. I didn't like it but I didn't care anymore, it was just the usual. Deciding I needed food more then the book I turned the TV on to keep me company while I prepared and cooked, nothing interested me, but it was nice having a voice other than mine in the house. I ate my toast on the small table that sat next to the window in our kitchen wishing I could go for a walk then be stuck having to go to school. After about twenty minutes I let my eyes wonder to the clock were I was unfortunately reminded I had to go or I would be stuck in the monotony of students congregating at the front of the school; watching like hawks as people came and go seeing who was worth paying attention to. I had maintained my invisibility so far and I wasn't about to let go of that now. I got up off the chair but as I did being the clumsy girl I was, I push my bag onto the floor by accident.

Books flew out of my bag and covered the floor. "Crap, why am I so clumsy?" I scolded myself. I placed my plate in the sink and started to place the books back in my bag. As my hand found the last book on the ground, it was my creative writing book and it had fallen open.

"Describe Your Dream" was the title and I knew I hadn't written it. I couldn't help but drive into every word on the page, I knew that hand writing my now and I wanted to engulf every letter. I couldn't know this person, but I could know his dreams. I was so used to his humour that reading something serious again was almost like falling into freezing cold water, a shock but just a refreshing exhilarating feeling. _"My dream is something I lost long ago. I had a dream that I would grow up and be a soldier, a husband, a father but now those dream will never come. My life is dreamless, I sit awake at night and long for sleep, but no matter what, it will never come. When morning comes I slowly make my way into my normal mundane life and wish I could dream. If I could dream, I would dream about becoming myself again, being the person who was born into this earth. Being able to live a somewhat normal life, but ofcause there is no way for that dream to come true so why even think it. I just wait, just live and maybe one day something will come and show me a dream, but for all I know one day might never come."_

The words were so powerful, so strong and although I couldn't personally relate to everything he was saying the emotions behind it hit home and part of me wondered, was he, is he as lonely as I? Why did he have to leave just before I came, was fate really so cruel or did I just do something so wrong to piss off some omnipresent being in a time I didn't know that left me with a life of crap to make up for it, because if so I hope the damn gods above are laughing because I'm not.

I went up to my room, stomping on every step, I was angry. I hadn't been angry in a very long time, I spent most of my time trying to keep all my emotions in check and be more subdued then I ever was before him but seeing he wasn't here and I was alone I was going to be angry and fuck anyone who got in my way. Going into my room I threw on the closet jeans and shirt I could find, I straightened my hair and pulled on my boots, invisibility was what I wanted but maybe I should roar for once in my life. But as I ran down the stairs, because of my unfortunate clumsiness, I ended flat on the floor in front of my bag; It almost looked like it was laughing saying how'd you like them apples. Karma even though I don't know what it was from, was haunting my through inordinate objects, _perfect_; ANDDDD there went my grumpy angry mood because instead of being able to yell at anything and everything the only person I had at the moment was myself and I had had enough people yelling at me to last a life time yet alone adding my name to that list. Still the fire within my soul didn't quieten completely and I honestly hoped no one re-ignited it to full flame.

I pulled myself of the floor, grabbed my bag and ran out the door towards my car and I was running late, _great my day could not get any better_. So the school would see me today brilliant. As I placed my keys in the door, I felt a cold drip land on my cheek, followed by another and another. _My day just got better oh how I love the rain_. My sarcasm was becoming out of control, along with the rest of my life and now my hair, why in the hell did I straighten it in the freaking first place.

**Jaspers POV  
Song: Muse – Panic Station (The 2nd Law)**

I sat on my couch listening to Muse as the light of a new morning brought hope to the world yet pain to my soul. The clouds that normally provided us the protection we needed from the sun were not covering the sunrise this morning. As the sun burst over horizon my skin turned to diamonds, the perfect skin of a "killer" _yeah right, more like the perfect skin for Mardi Gras_; but thankfully over in the distance I could see and smell rain clouds were coming and but better yet I could hear the thunder in the distance. Today would have been the perfect day to go out to the grove and play some baseball, but I was on house arrest until they could work out how to keep this mystery girl and me apart. I wanted to break something, really badly, I was so angry. I had worked so hard for so long to become an accepted member of this family. Jumping through every hoop they assigned me. I was from a different world than them, I didn't have sunshine, rainbows and flowers as I entered into this world, mine was painful, dark and full of blood; which at the time I didn't mind so much but apparently everyone else does.

Getting made into a war machine wasn't any right-minded persons dream and definitely wasn't mine but I can't change the past I just have to grow up, move on and learn. Unfortunately the rest of the family can't see that. In 1948 I met Alice and I went cold turkey and changed everything I had known, 66 years without absolute crazed violence and seeking out blood, but still that wasn't enough, I don't think 1000 years would be enough. But with time on my side I might have to wait another 1000 years to see. But for now I had to sit like a scolded child, waiting for everyone else to give my life a solution. I don't know about everyone else in the world but I'm pretty sure no one likes being told how to live his or her life. Moving from the lounge room before I snapped the coffee table I moved into the library where the not so subtle meeting was happening.

"What if Jasper, Ed and I went to Isle Esme for a little while, give him a chance to chill out, run and hunt whatever animal he felt like?" Alice suggest to Carlisle and Esme who were both in deep concentration. The feelings in the room were all good natured but conflicted with guilt at the same time and it wasn't for me but for the well being of this girl. "Maybe the Denali's wouldn't mind having Jasper stay with them for a while, he could spend some more time with Eleazar learning more about his powers and potential, especially on how to eavesdrop better?" Edward followed. I couldn't keep my mouth shut any more, it was plain stupid what they were suggesting, plus they knew I was there because of Edweird and his stupid mental power.  
"What about putting me on a leash every where we went, or locking me in the basement to rot or if we are feeling really creative what about sending me to Tibet to mediate with some monks or are you afraid I'll drain them dry too?"  
"Jasper don't say things like that." Esme pleaded  
"So sending me to Tanya and her romantic faux pas is better?" I asked  
"If it helps then maybe, yes Jasper." Carlisle again being diplomatic and forever the devils advocate for everyone.

"Look why don't any of you have any trust in me?"  
"Sure, cause it's not like you're a War build vampire with a taste for blood." Rosalie piped up  
"At least I'm not the vengeful bitch bride."  
In a moment I was toe to toe with Rosalie, Emmett was behind her holding her back, the anger in me only flared and I couldn't help but project it onto Rosalie, I wanted a fight and of all people she would give it to me.  
"Come on, say it again Jasper, let me show you what a real fight looks like."  
"You wouldn't know a real fight even if one hit you in the face, you wouldn't have lasted a second in the war, you're to scared plus you can't move on, vengefulness is such an ugly expression, but it suits your ugly face."  
"Take it back."

"Rose! Jasper! Enough, both of you calm down." Carlisle ordered  
"Only when he takes it back."  
"Over my dead body."  
"If that's what it takes." Rose swung her arms out of Emmett's grip and pushed me through the large window onto the large grass area a level below. As I landed the cuts from the shards of glass were already healing and I jumped to meet Rose in the air as she ran out the window to join me outside. Out body's smashed together creating a thunder like sounded that echoed through the surrounding area. My muscle memory took over and it was only an instant before I had her in a lock before we reached the ground. But the cavalry jumped in to force just as quickly and Edward and Emmett had me on my back before I had a chance to let her go and begin the real test of strength.

"This is exactly why you can't be anywhere near this girl Jasper, you are too strong for your own good." Carlisle said as he helped Rose up.  
"Ask Rose if any part of her is hurt or even sore, don't know my own strength my ass. I could have ripped off her head in the study before she even had a chance touch me."  
"That really isn't helping your case mate," Emmett whispered although everyone heard it.  
"What does it even matter, there is no way anyone in this family will ever trust me, or believed I have changed, all you see are the scars over my body and believe that there is really no way to fix something so broken."  
"Jasper that isn't it at all," Esme continued.  
"Then why no trust me? Why not believe I can actually resist this girl."  
"Alice saw," Edward started but I wasn't having a bar of it.  
"Yeah Alice saw something, but everything she sees is subjective to choice, what about my choice?"  
"Jasper, it isn't that easy," Alice reasoned  
"WHAT ABOUT MY CHOICE? Has no one considered my choice at all."  
"Ofcause we have," Edward stated  
"No. We haven't." Carlisle finished. Yeah sometimes the devils advocate came in handy especially when I was the devil.

"Jasper there is no way we can know what you will do when you are in that moment, maybe you might resist, maybe you might not, this outburst isn't very favourable, you had control of what would happen and look where we ended up, a broken window and almost a broken family member later." Carlisle continued. "I would trust you with my life, because you know me, I know you would defend every member of this family with you life, but this girl is nothing to you, to anyone in this family except a vision Alice had. There would be nothing to stop you."  
"Except maybe me?" I asked. "Just give me a chance and would you for the love of God get off me,"

Emmett and Edward loosened their grip allowing me to get off the ground; "I get it, you all think I'm going to slip up and put this family in a compromised situation, but come on, 66 years I've hardly stepped a foot out of line what makes you think anything will change now?"  
"You did just attack Rose,"  
"No she attacked me and I reacted and last week Emmett almost ripped Edwards arm off for beating him in GTA and the week before that Rose almost burnt the house down burning her last season clothing because it all look feral to use her own words. We are vampires, thus all fucked up, wake up and have a truth check."

Although I had humiliated a large percentage of my family I could feel the emotions shift from a protective fight instinct to a more sedate, understanding, I may have also pushed the cards in my favour a little with some compassion and grace influence.

"You're off house arrest but the moment you slip, it's up to Canada with you," Carlisle commanded.

I nodded my head, it wasn't the most perfect situation but at least I could go hunting again and back into the woods for a run and maybe into the town to buy some more books. Taking the chance I ran off into the forest wanting to clear my head and more importantly my emotions. I let my body take over and then I smelt it, a sweet pure smell, it was blood but nothing like I had ever smelt before. Following it I found myself on the outskirts of Forks suburbia, I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard the heart beat of a human walking my way; I didn't want to push anything and that's when the rainbow of emotions hit me. So deep, so strong and such a range of emotions I had never felt anything like it before, such a deep ingrained sadness, but flowing on top of that was this strength to overcome that would have willed a grave yard full of people to live again and while there was all of that there was this peace, a relaxing wash came over me silencing everything except the click of a camera.

I didn't know who this person was, but in that moment I couldn't move from where I was, I just wanted to sit in this persons emotions, feel everything they were. It was pure beauty and simply what I needed in that moment. But my hyper active brain and stupid curiosity got the better for me, slowing every foot step, I moved silently, not letting my concentration waver, that was until I looked up and saw this beautiful girl staring through the lens of a camera at the surrounding forest, taking an uncontrollable step forward I broke a twig under my foot and she turned. Moving at vampire speed I ran past her not letting her see me, but goodness didn't I see her. Before I could go back and see more of her Edward and Emmett were by my side with Alice not too far behind.

"Jasper we've gotta go." Emmett spoke so quickly no human could have ever picked up a sound.  
"Why?" I asked not understanding anything and I was hit with her feelings of confusion and curiosity, she had heard my foot break the twig and the rushing sounds of us running around. Fear slowly danced through everything but her want to explore was to overpowering. I didn't think anything would break me from the trance of her emotions.  
"It's her." Alice said when she was close enough and with those to words my trance was broken, like a mirror cracking and shattering. My body which I hadn't been paying attention to at that point became absolutely loud and demanding with want for her, it wasn't like reaction I had had before, I felt like I had a magnet inside of me pulling me towards her and nothing could stop the pull, the only thing holding me back was Edward and Emmett.

"You need to choose Jasper."

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	6. I'm Not Hungry

**Misguided Silver Linings**

**Chapter 5 – I'm Not Hungry**

**Song: Can't Remember To Forget You – Shakira ft Rihanna**

**Jasper's POV**

"You need to choose Jasper." But before Edward has even said the words I had already made my choice, I weakened my body and went slack in their arms, I didn't have the power to pull myself away, but they did and I couldn't let myself get pulled into her, I didn't know why, I just couldn't. Without any more words Edward and Emmett ran me back to the house, not letting me go until I was safely inside. "Is she alive?" Carlisle asked running down the stairs. "Alice saw that you and her would cross paths moments after you ran off."  
"Ofcause she would." I spat knowing there was no way to circumvent Alice.  
"Carlisle, Jasper didn't do it," Emmett followed, "He was just standing there when we got there, she's safe, doesn't even know we were there."  
"See, I told you I was stronger than you all thought."  
"Yeah until you realized it was her Jasper," Edward finished  
"There was that." I had to admit it, there was something that drew me to her, that would have made me loose my control if I would have gotten nearer to her, but what part of my control that was, I wasn't sure. Her blood smelt amazing but there was something more, I couldn't put my finger on it, but it wasn't just her blood that was drawing me to her.

"I don't see anything more happening in the future," Alice said after coming back from her vision trace state, "Everyone is safe for now, but I don't want to risk anything,"  
"Fair enough, so every day you can scan everything and if something changes Edward and Emmett can stop Jasper, but for now I think Jasper proved that he can be trusted." Esme concluded, I liked it when she got her passive aggressive mom hat on.  
"For now." Alice finished as her and Edward left to their area of the house, sparking everyone to go off in different directions, but I just stayed in the living room, pencil and pad in hand drawing the girl who I was never supposed to be near again.

It remained that way for a while, Alice checking the visions while I hung around the house taking the occasional run into the forest and town when Alice told me she was in at school. Although I hadn't seen her again, the town supplied enough gossip and information about her to suffice me enough. From what I heard she was the apple of everyone's eye when she first got into school but dropped off the radar so quickly she gave all the boys whiplash which most of the girls ate up. So Bella preferred her own company to that of the people of Forks, thank goodness she had the sense to stay away from the boys of Forks. The only troubling things I heard were that of her "parents" or well lack there of, apparently no-one has seen them since they moved in, sparking more gossip then a wild fire but to me it only started to put things into place.

It explained why there was such negativity underlying and entangling with her emotions and all I wanted to do was to know more, to feel more but like the poison apple of Eden I couldn't go anywhere near her, even though I wanted to.

The Family became more sedate over everything as the days moved on, Alice was still as tense as ever but at least Rose and I had made up, Edward and I were back to talking books and war while I thrashed Emmett on the stupid game box thing. Carlisle still kept having meetings with me to see how I was going but they went from being a half daily thing to more of a bi-daily habit and Esme just stayed the loving mother she was pretty much born to be.

But in the moments of alone time when everyone was in the rooms at night I couldn't get her out of my mind. She was there, every thought and especially all those emotions. My brain had burned her image into my memory from that small glimpse I got of her. The beautiful delicate heart shaped face with those big brown determined eye and those ever so pink lips. That amazing chestnut hair that was placed in the most perfect wave that was always a tiny bit unruly. Maybe I was taking some creative licence of my memory and the things I had heard about her but what I knew for sure was that she drew me in like a moth to a flame and not matter how much it would burn it was all I wanted. In all the years I had existed I had never felt something so intense towards another vampire yet alone human, yet there it was, the pull, a constant niggling in everything I did. Every fake breath I took I felt my body try to move closer to her while my brain kept me in place; If only to see her one more time was the dangerous thought which I couldn't shake.

I had to get out of the house, I had to take some moments and run, I knew it was morning and that technically I wasn't supposed to move until Alice had performed her daily vision but I couldn't wait any longer, I needed the space to be away for everyone's emotions and focus on my own. As fast as I could I ran out of the house ensuring no to disturb anything or anyone, they would be on to me soon enough but the couple of seconds head start would be enough, plus if they need me I had my phone on me like every other person in this 21st century plus it wasn't like they couldn't sniff me out in an instant. As I picked up my pace I did one final emotions scan and so far everyone was too caught up to notice I was gone, I finally felt free just to be and think of my mighty distraction.

As I ran I let all of my emotions take over, I let myself feel what I felt when I was around her, I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch her, to hear her speak, to understand her emotions and feel each and every one but at the same time, part of me had to forget her. I was in a battle between my brain and my soul, the question was I didn't know which was stronger and as I ran it became clearer and clearer with every step I took.

**Alice POV**

The last week had worked, Jasper was behaving and Bella was stay safe, alone and clumsy yes, but safe. The morning vision ritual was draining but it kept the balance in place, we had set it for 8 in the morning so we could "sleep" in and right now I wish we had made it later; laying on our bed, Edward was massaging my back trying to relieve all of the tense muscles. It was the perfect morning, with Edward I didn't have to worry; he was keeping tabs on everything so I could just be free to relax. Without being conscious of it I slipped into a vision, I could still feel Edward holding on to me but I wasn't in our room anymore but standing in the school grounds, Bella's rusty old car parked not too far away from where we were, but no Bella. Walking towards the car I catch a whiff of Jasper before I see him, he's slowly walking to the edge of the tree line, his eyes fixed on something.

Following his gaze I find Bella, walking towards the school, in a moment I hear a large booming crash like when to vampires collide, without wanting to my reflexes cause my eyes to close and when I open them, Jasper is on his knees covered in blood with Bella on the ground next to him, blood gushing out of a wound to her side.

Like a shot of lightening Edward and I were in action, Edward trying to find Jasper and me trying to find a way to get to Jasper because even though Jasper wasn't supposed to leave the house, deep down I knew he was already gone and I knew exactly where he was going. I grabbed my phone, pressing speed dial hoping by some miracle he wouldn't be close enough to her, hoping by some miracle he will pick up, hoping that maybe I could stop the vision.

If he didn't pick up the phone though I knew the next call I would make would be to Carlisle, to start damage control and to prepare everyone to move again. As the phone rang it felt like my heart began to pound out of my chest again. The phone just rang, and rang.

**Jasper's POV**

As my body fluidly ran I knew nothing in life nor death could compare to this feeling of freedom I gained from making up my mind and nothing could change my mood right now, I knew what I wanted finally.

RING RING, _RING RING_. Okay one thing could change my mood, stupid phone why did it have to ring now, it meant only one thing, Alice knew I wasn't home and soon they would be after me. I continued running, not being bothered to check it, why would I when I know who it would be and why. RING RING, _RING RING_. Damn it won't shut up! Running as a vampire is normally a silent act thus impossible for humans to detect but with this incessant noise I wasn't going to stay hidden forever. RING RING, _RING RING_. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, Alice, ofcause my suspcions were correct but what would she want? Edward and Emmett were already on their was to fetch me. Maybe she is ringing to say sorry, yeah right, she could hold onto a grudge better then the Americans to the Russians. I kept on running losing myself to my senses again. RING RING, _RING RING_. I was not going to pick it up; I was not going to be distracted.

RING RING, _RING RING_.

"Fine!" I yelled at nothing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket again and selected talk. "WHAT ALICE?" I yelled in an angry tone hoping she would get my message; I didn't stop running, not wanting to lose my flow. "JASPER STOP!" Alice wailed in fear over the phone.

I stopped at that very instance; I had never heard Alice so scared and worried. I was shocked, absolutely shocked, did something happen at home when I left, did Rosalie snap again and set fire to the house for real this time. "JASPER YOU NEED TO STOP RIGHT NOW!"  
"Alice calm down, what happened?"  
"JASPER LOOK AROUND YOU!" She screamed as if I was stupid.

Trying to calm her down I followed instructions, "Alice, seriously you are overreacting, I'm fine, I and just taking a little run, I headed north towards the Canadian border." I looked around my surroundings and then it hit me. I had run straight to the school, straight towards the thing my soul longed for. _Straight to Bella_. Suddenly everything around me all came together to make a defining silence.

She was over there, I could see her through the bushes, and she was getting out of her old truck soaking wet from the rain that had begun to fall like missiles. Her chestnut hair dangled clumsily down her face and her brown eyes were so deep. Her cheeks were the most amazing rose and her lips were just so red. My memory although being vampire perfect had not done her justice. I inhaled deeply, smelling her sweet pure scent while I let my mind go to her emotions, worry, excitement and _anger_, normally girls look pretty hot when they are revved up but Bella, _God _did she look so stunningly beautiful when she was mad. Coming back from the rush her emotions gave me my eyes went from her face to her neck and I could see her vein in her neck, the blood was pumping quickly as she began to run to the shelter.

Alice began screaming from the phone which I had forgotten was still between my fingers. "JASPER WHITLOCK DO NOT MOVE AN INCH, IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH A HAIR ON HER HEAD I WILL RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!"  
"Okay lets pretend you could actually do that for a second, why?"  
"BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO KILL HER!"  
"Alice, lets remember one thing,"  
"WHAT?!"  
"Everything is up to choice and I am not hungry."  
"JASPER I KNOW YOU THINK IT'S A CHOICE BUT HER BEING YOUR SINGER, wait, what, you aren't hungry?"  
"No I'm not, I'm perfectly content."  
"But what, that can't be, I saw her die by your hands,"  
"Did you really?"  
"Not fully but there was so much blood,"  
"Okay, I said I'm not hungry but that doesn't mean talking about blood and having her so close makes everything easy."

But as those words left my lips the whole situation became a whole lot more complicated, as my eyes followed Bella as she ran towards the school I saw her eyes leave the ground to the bell as it rang and by her next footfall she misplaced her step and was falling towards the ground and skinned her knee. The blood which was flowing through here system was now making it's way through her jeans and onto the wet ground which only accelerated her blood loss.

I didn't know what to do, my suddenly calm body became tense and poised for fight as I began moving towards Bella, dropping the phone on the tar I blocked out Alice's voice and focused on getting to Bella and more importantly the blood.

**Alice's POV**

I heard the phone hit the tar road and Jaspers foot falls as he moved further away. I couldn't stop him, and I failed. "Alice! Carlisle is on the phone!" Edward ran towards me with the phone, he had heard everything and had already got Plan B in place, Edward was too far away to get to Jasper but the Hospital was a block away from the school and Carlisle could get there in time.

"CARLISLE! YOU NEED TO RUN TO THE SCHOOL NOW AND STOP JASPER HE IS GOING TO KILL BELLA!" I wailed I could hear his phone hitting the floor in the hospital as he ran at top speeds to the school. All I could do I had done; now I painfully had to wait. Edward held me as I collapsed on the ground. Everything was going to change.

**Carlisle POV**

Ring, ring

_Ring, ring_

_**Ring, ring**_

**RING, RING**

My phone had been ringing all day with different calls and now I had finally just been able to stop. Who could be calling now? I reached down into my pocket and pulled out my silver phone. Edward? Why would he be calling me? "Hello Edward, how are you my son?" I asked a tiny bit worried, he never would call me. "Carlisle, Jasper is gone." Before Edward more Alice was yelling at me down the phone, "CARLISLE! YOU NEED TO RUN TO THE SCHOOL NOW AND STOP JASPER HE IS GOING TO KILL BELLA!" I dropped the phone and jumped out the window of my office and ran at my fastest speed to the school.

I couldn't believe it had come to this, how on earth did Jasper get to the school? He knew Bella would be there. He knew he wasn't supposed to go any where near her until Alice had cleared everything. RUN! I screamed at myself, Bella needed to be saved and obviously because Alice had contacted me I was the only one capable. I continued to run, running faster then I had ever before in my life. The scent of the school was becoming close and I could almost see it through the trees. Then I caught Jaspers scent and then I saw him stalking towards Bella every step taking him closer. I never really knew his killer ability until this moment.

Alice was right; Jasper was going to kill Bella. I had never seen Jasper look so vampiric before. He wasn't the Jasper Hale I called son believing he could change; he was Jasper Whitlock the vampire killer and war veteran.

I stopped thinking and began to run at him but before I could a large black van skidded across my path heading straight towards Bella. Looking on in absolute horror, Jasper moved from where he was and shielded Bella and then stopped the van right in its tracks. The driver of the van hitting his head from Jaspers impact was completely knocked out, instinctively moving to help him and inspect the damage I saw Jasper pick up Bella from the ground and carry her to the wet grass beside the car park. His hands were so carefully going over her, as his quiet words asked if she was okay. Her eyes were on his and she was totally mesmerized as he was with her. He then took off the jacket he was wearing, tearing off the bottom before putting it around her. Then skilfully he wrapped the torn fabric around her knee, a makeshift bandage covering her wound. Then without another word he took off running towards the forest again.

Students started to file out of the school, obviously hearing the crash. Quickly people were by Bella's side assessing what had happened, while others went to the boy in the van, knowing they would end up in my emergency ward any way I ran back into the hospital. I didn't know what Alice had seen, but as I replayed what happened in my mind I realized that Jasper wasn't stalking out prey, but instead he sensed trouble and was protecting Bella, protecting her in the same way I would protect Esme. Maybe everyone was wrong, I knew from our discussions that Jasper was drawn to her, but maybe it wasn't her blood that was what he was after.

**Bella's POV**

The rain fell like tear drops from heaven as I parked my car in the lot of the school. I really didn't want to get out of my warm car but I was already late for school plus my mood was already ruined. My anger at the world was still bubbling under the surface but it wasn't important enough for me to focus on as I heard the bell ring for homeroom. My clumsiness showing its ugly face again made me slip on the wet ground, my knee connecting with the concrete first, ripping a hole in my jeans and skin before my hands could stop me. As I sat on the cold ground to examine the cut droplets of blood rose to the surface as a chill swept over me; I felt like I was being watched by someone.

Before I really had a chance to suss it all out, the noise of skidding tired drew my attention away from my knee and towards the black van that was making a beeline straight towards me. How ironic, that of all of the ways that I would die it was at the hands of a moving van. Waiting expectantly for the flash of life before my eyes and the pain from the impact, I closed my eyes not wanting to know what happened. Hearing the crash I expected to feel pain but instead I felt nothing, opening my eyes with no idea what to expect, heaven or more likely hell knowing my luck.

But instead there were two teak colour eyes boring into my soul, maybe I had made it to heaven after all. He asked me if I was okay as his feather touches sent shives down my spin, why would he ask me if I was okay if I was in Heaven, ofcause I wasn't okay, I was dead but I could deal with that seeing I got him instead. He straightened his back as he took off his jacket, ripping the bottom off it. Why would he ruin a perfectly good jumper, I couldn't help the curious tilt of my head as I watched him, he wrapped his jacket around me which was strangely cold before he took the fabric and wrapped it around my knee. Pulling it tightly over the large scrape I had on my knee, pressure caused such a pain that it made me realize I wasn't in heaven but I was still stuck in hell, just not the literal hell.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked one more time, losing the ability to form words I nodded and then within the space of a blink he was gone. I looked around me and saw the chaos as people from the school rushed towards me, Mike was one of the first to reach me, his eyes weren't teak nor were his touches feather light and the shives I got from Mike were of disgust. "Bella, what happened?"  
"I really don't know," I replied seriously not understanding what had just happened, I should have been dead but I wasn't yet somehow I had seen an angel. Before I knew it the sound of sirens filled the air and I without choice I was dragged off to the hospital being told I must have been hit by the van and flung away or something like that, I really couldn't follow all the commotions especially as all I could think of was the set of teak colour eyes.

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	7. Sticks and Stones

**Misguided Silver Linings**

Chapter 6 – Sticks and Stones

Song: Sticks and Stones – The Pierces

**Jasper POV **

I didn't even need to think, when I saw her blood seep out of her skin, I knew what I needed to do;

_She needed a Band-Aid. _

Alice was truly over-reacting, sure her blood smelt absolutely brilliant, but without Edward, Emmett and Alice all thirsting for it, it isn't such a challenge to resist it. The closest thing I could relate it to was like the feeling you get when you pass a food store and although you aren't hungry the smell just makes you want to eat though you don't have to. But with every step I took closer to her something else drew me to her. It wasn't her blood, nor her need for help, but something within me, like a heaviness in my chest that pulled me forward. Her emotions erupted through me, I almost wanted to stop and laugh, she wasn't feeling really any pain, just sheer embarrassment and frustration. Her emotions were always so intense, I wondered if she ever felt anything just a little, or maybe it was me, maybe I was just able to pick up her emotions better than anyone else. Before I had a chance to figure it all out the screeching of tires stole my attention away.

If that van continued on it's path she was going to need more than a band-aid, forgetting the chances of being revealed I let my speed draw myself to her before the van was even close, shielding her body I pressed my arms into the cold steel and let it dent into me rather than her. Fear clouded her every emotion, but it wasn't like a chilling fear like someone before dying but more like fear from a rollercoaster, she truly was a strange creature.

After the van had stopped moving I picked up her feather light body and moved it away from the crash sight, not even thinking about how anything could be explained later, because at that point all that mattered was her warm body pressing into mine. Her fear was slowly subsiding as shock and amazement took its place. Sitting her down and away from me was like ripping off a limb but it had to be down as some blood from her leg was beginning to seep onto my clothes and my little niggling hunger was just being a little bit more annoying.

Her eyes pierced into mine with determination as I pulled off my jacket to dress her wound, plus I couldn't help but notice her shivering. It couldn't be sure whether it was the cold or the shock and although my ice skin didn't warm it would at least provide a little more protection. Plus it fitted her better than I after I ripped off the bottom, my survivor training coming to the surface and I placed pressure on her scraped knee.

"Are you alright?" I knew I shouldn't talk to her, but now that she was there I couldn't help it. She didn't move or even flinch but her eyes betrayed her, dilating as she continued staring at me; even if I couldn't read emotions I could see that there was more then just shock and awe, but like with everything about her it was still different. Sure I had women find me attractive, I'm a flipping vampire it's part of the biological changes to be almost God like in appearance but instead of just being attracted to what she saw there was something deeper, under the surface that drew her to me. Probably white knight syndrome, I did just save her life after all. Hoping to get a response I asked again knowing that soon people from the school would join her by the sounds of moving feet. Finally this time she nodded and I rush off before anyone could see me with her.

I had already started to many rumours when I was a student, I wasn't going to create anymore. Plus the sound of sirens gave me comfort that soon Carlisle would be able to fix her up and I will just become a memory to her. But on the bright side, I had completely proven the little meddling pixie at home that I had more self control than she imagined or foresaw. But I wasn't going to make it easy for her, stopping to buy some sunglasses to hide my eyes on the way home I entered the house letting confidence and satisfaction saturate the room. Alice was infront of me within a tenth of a second.

"JASPER HALE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Anger and hate radiated off her like an erupting volcano, yet even though she was standing nose to nose with me, Alice's emotions still weren't as intense hers.  
"I honestly haven't the slightest idea what you are going on about. I'm not the mind reader in the family, speaking of the devil,"  
"Out with it Jasper, reciting T.S Eliot in your brain isn't going to work forever," Well so Edward thought, I knew enough poetry to fill my thoughts for years.  
"I don't know what either of you are going on about, I simply went out for a stroll, ate and came home." Both of their emotions were turning to frustration and rage, I couldn't help but intensify the feeling, this was way too much fun. "Come on Alice aren't you supposed to see what's going on, tell me what happened?"  
"I can't see what happened."  
"Are you broken?" I asked in the most innocent voice I could handle without laughing.  
"At least we aren't the pity case of the family."  
"Sticks and Stones plus didn't your mother teach you if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all?" I loved messing with them.  
"Drop the act Whitlock" Edward as he pushed himself forward to rip off the dark glasses, vampires can see through them but they can't determine colour, which just made it all the more fun.

Edward was ultimately fast but he didn't have my army training and before he touched me I was behind him with one hand on his collar and another on his arm. "Tsk tsk tsk, you know how Esme feels when we break things, let's take this outside." With a swing of my arms I threw wonder boy out the open door into the backyard. He was surprised which was a hard emotion to pull out of a mind reader. "So let's start todays lesson in combat shall we?" I taunted. Edward rushed forward not really thinking letting his emotions rule which only played to my advantage. Once I had his face in the dirt I recited the rules I learnt so long ago. "Come on Edward, you should know, never go for the obvious kill." Letting him up he tried another angle but I got my arms around him and pinned him again he was letting his frustration rule his movements. "Seriously you should know never let another get their arms around you." Letting him go, he quickly turned ripping off my glasses before I took a step away. I was getting bored anyway, Edward wasn't very hard to spar with, Esme had more fight really.

"Your eyes, they're gold still." Once again I drew surprise from Edward, today really was a day of not sticking to the script.  
"Were you expecting different?"  
"What do you mean they are golden? How are you hiding the red Jasper." Alice demanded.

"For them to be red I would have had to ingested human blood."  
"But I saw you."  
"No you saw Bella and I in the same area, you didn't see me do anything. You especially didn't see the van, which almost killed her. If you're looking for her she is with Carlisle at the hospital with shock and a scraped knee. As for me I'm going to my room because I don't have anymore time for either of you two self absorbed idiots." As I walked away Edward turned his back and I slapped him across the head, "Also never turn your back on your enemy."

Walking up the stairs to my room I felt more control over myself than I had in many years. Everyone always thought fear was the best way to control and protect but in all reality confidence was and is the best weapon I can have. But that wasn't going to help with the other problem I had, for once in my life incomplete, there was something missing and my mind kept going back to her, I'm sure Alice and Edward will keep the restrictions up but I needed to see her.

**Bella POV**

The air in the hospital stung my nose with every breath I took, the industrial strength bleaches and constantly clean linen suffocated me while the neon lights above blinded me, I truly didn't understand why hospitals felt it necessary to give already sick patients a sensory overload. All I wanted to do was get up and walk out but I was under strict instructions to stay put until some doctor could come and check me over. From the sounds of things he was behind the curtain in the quazi room next to me, checking over the driver. He sounded worse than me, once again leaving me to beg the question why I was there.

Minutes or maybe hours passed, I couldn't be sure as every moment feels the same in hospital, but my mind never idled as I continued to remember the young man who saved me. His curled blonde hair, his strong angular features, his strength but what had me stumped were those teak coloured eyes. I had been so many places and seen so many faces but never before had I seen eyes like his. Not realising I was no longer alone a voice pulled me from my mind, but I couldn't help my palpable shock when I was met with another pair of teak coloured eyes. These ones were more mature and but were almost the same, he also had blonde hair, but he wasn't the man who saved me.

"Good afternoon Isabella, I am Dr Cullen, I'll be looking after you today." His voice was quiet but commanding with an accent that wasn't entirely British nor entirely American. "Can you please tell me your name and you date of birth."  
"Isabella Marie Swan but I get called Bella and I am born on September 13th"  
"Good, I'm just going to check all your obs and hopefully be able to send you home once you give your statement to the police and we get in contact with your parents."  
"You won't be able to."  
"Sorry?"  
"My parent, non-plural, is out of town and is unable to be contacted."  
"So who have you been staying with?"  
"My imaginary friend and the voice in my head."  
"So no one,"  
"You got it,"

"Well that complicates things."

"Look, I get it, I'm underage and not being an adult I can't legally get myself out of hospital but seriously I'm fine, the only thing that isn't normal is well,"  
"What is it Bella?"  
"The fact that I must be seeing things because the guy who pulled me out of the way had the same coloured eyes as you and the colour is like nothing I have ever seen before."  
"You're not seeing things it's a genetic mutation that I and my family share."  
"So your saying it was your son that pulled me out of the way?" That made him slip, he perfect composure fell from his face, only for an instance but I saw it.  
"I guess so,"  
"But how is that possible? He got to me so fast, I hadn't even seen him and then he was there, he stopped the van too, with his bare hands."  
"Adrenaline does weird things to people Bella."  
"I just don't get how it all happened."

"Just take it as a miracle Bella,"  
"I can't,"

"Well it's the only explanation you will get, look I don't see any reason to keep you here, do you want to press charges on Tyler."  
"Who's Tyler?"  
"The boy driving the truck?"  
"No, I'm fine, I think he is worse shape than me. But seriously, who is your son." Which was true the only injury I had was a scrapped knee, I was honestly fine.  
"Bella I think you need to go home."  
"So that's it no answers at all, not even a name."  
"If he wanted you to know he would have told you."  
"I'm sure I can find out from someone else in this small town."  
"As I am sure I can find out exactly what is going on with your living situation and how I can keep you here until some one comes and gets you. Drop it Bella. I'll get the Chief of Police to drive you home."

Before I could return another comment he left me sitting on the bed unsure of everything. Why did he turn so defensive all of a sudden, I guess this town was weirder than I originally thought. Grabbing the jacket he gave me I exited the curtains to be met but an officer in uniform, "I'm Charles, I'll be taking you home."  
"Can you take me to the school so I can pick up my truck, I just would have no way to get it in the morning and truly I'm okay."  
"Well the Doc did say you were fine to go so I don't see any real problem with it."

The journey back to the school was quiet, the chief as I gathered wasn't a big talker and I didn't dare say a word with the chance I could reveal something that needed to stay hidden about my family or worse my current living arrangements. He politely made sure I got to my truck safely but after I waved he drove off leaving me to my solitude, I didn't feel like going home straight away and no way in hell did I want to go home so I drove into the town finding a little café to stop in for a little while. The place was warm and the chatter of people made it inviting, plus it was a place where I could find answers, for being the only coffee shop in town is was sure to be filled with all the gossip I could ever need to find out about my mystery hero.

Sitting down on a stool facing the kitchen and service area I soon got the attention of one of the waitresses. "Shouldn't you be in school?" She asked,  
"I got an early mark, I saw an accident happen at the school and they thought I needed some time."  
"Oh the one with poor Tyler,"  
"Yeah that one,"  
"He's a silly boy always travelling too quickly on these damn slippery roads. But anyway, you're a face I haven't seen before which means you have to be from the new family that just moved in."  
"Am I that obvious?"  
"Well all the kids here have lived here their whole lives, so you stick out just like the Cullen kids."  
"Who?"  
"The Cullens, they moved here a couple of years ago, nice family from what I can tell."  
"Yeah Doctor Cullen looked after me, I didn't know he had kids."  
"Yeah five of them, it's such a shame."  
"What's a shame?"  
"Him and his wife can't have children and all of them are adopted."  
"All of them? Really, I think I bumped into one of them and him and Dr Cullen shared the same eyes colour."  
"Well a couple are from Carlisle's sister who tragically passed away where the others are somehow related to Esme and than the other is from a home I heard."  
"Go figure, which one is the blonde boy?"  
"That's Jasper, he's probably the quietest of them all, hardly see him anywhere, my son Ben said he never even heard him speak."  
"Goodness, well that answers a lot of questions."  
"I had a feeling you were looking for some answers, is there anything else I could get for you?"  
"A hot coffee and some chips would be amazing."

After finishing my food and coffee my choices keeping me away from home became more limited. It was either explore the town, all three blocks of it or return home not knowing whether I would be greeted with darkness or much to my misery Phil. But a return home was inevitable so returning to my car I made the now familiar journey home, passing the thick trees I swear I could have seen something following my truck, it was probably just shock from the day rearing it's head, the sooner home the sooner I could forget everything bad and focus on what I knew.

As I entered the street where our house was I almost turned around and headed in the opposite direction. Although I knew at some point in time Phil would be back I didn't expect today would really be that day. Parking my truck close to the tree line I slowly walked towards the door, trying to hear in and gage the mood from the outside. Before my hand touched the doorknob the door was ripped open and before me stood Phil, his eyes mad with rage and I knew that tonight would be worse than facing the van.

"Where the hell have you been?" Phil asked accusingly, I didn't say a word and let my eyes drop to the floor. "I got a call from the hospital, saying you were in some kind of accident and needed to leave my trip with your mother to come home to you. Apparently they released you before lunch, yet it's almost 5 in the evening," He continued, "Mind you I didn't expect anything less from you, such a clumsy accident prone meddling idiot, you are such a child and you have no respect. What have you done for this family, nothing? You bring us off, out of our away time, because you were selfish enough to get yourself hurt. Than you don't even come home afterwards. You just love ruining this family don't you." Still I was silent, the words ripped through me but it wasn't worth it, if I responded it would only be worse. "You haven't done a thing to accept me into this family and if you don't want to be a part of this family maybe you should have let the van hit you." I was always told that sicks and stones could break bones and words would never hurt me, but oh how wrong it was. Phil always personally attacked me and ironically this wasn't even the worst things he had said to me.

"What, to gutless to say a word?" Phil taunted me, I looked to my mother pleading for her to help me, but she turned away. I slowly raised my eyes to Phil, "I have had a big day, I think I should go to sleep."  
"You don't think! You are just a stupid little girl!" Before Phil came into our lives I was the captian of the debate team because I knew how to fight and fight well, now I was a little rusty but I was sick of being silent for one day. "Who do you think you are? My father?! You have no right to talk to me like that and I wasn't the one who wanted you home, I wished you had stayed away,"  
"Who do you think you are?"  
"Who do you think you are? I am Isabella Swan! That is my mother and because of your control and possessiveness she won't even help me!"  
"Maybe because you aren't worth helping! GET TO YOUR ROOM! You are grounded for a month!"  
"Mom, are you seriously not going to say anything?" I asked in disbelief she normally didn't cross Phil at all but I thought she would be slightly concerned for my well being after the day I had plus the tongue lashing I just received. Phil stared at her and she looked at me with sympathy but didn't say a word.

Keeping my mouth shut like I should have I walked up the stairs to my room not wanting to return down stairs as long as Phil was down there. Grounded for a month was nothing for Phil and he couldn't scare me, don't get me wrong he was terrifying but I had to tell myself I wasn't scared and that I was strong because I was the only person in my corner for the moment. Maybe in time it would change and I would get a silver lining but for now I had dark and stormy clouds on my horizon.

**Reviewers are statically more likely to be beautiful and handsome people, mind you though you all are amazing!**


	8. Secrets and Lies

**Misguided Silver Linings**

Chapter 7 – Secrets and Lies

Song: The 2nd Law – Isolated System ~ Muse

(It really works for all the research that Bella does)

**Bella POV – **

I couldn't help but relive the events of the day as I lay awake in bed, sleep was impossible with the racket of Phil and my mother, but even if they weren't here I still wouldn't have been able to get that guy out of my head.

What he did was no where near a person charged up on adrenaline, I should know I was and still are a complete closet adrenaline junkie. Sure it super charges the human body for moments of need but it can't completely cause a human to run out of no where, stop a moving van, cause a dent in said van and then pick me up and in an instant move me over ten meters away. There had to be another explanation; especially for those eyes. Giving up on my hope of sleep I went to my computer and looked up the local hospital, although modern technology is ruining the idea of privacy, I was glad most hospital's these days ignored that concept and liked to show off there doctors.

_Dr Carlisle Cullen, MD.  
Dr Cullen along with his family moved from Alaska to Forks two years ago, we are very privileged that Dr Cullen chose to join our medical team. He became the head of the emergency ward recently and promises to continue his work for another year before he is expected to leave for the UK to continue his research. Dr Cullen's research surrounds the different types of DNA with different mixes of chromosomes and how this can influence not only physical changes but also metaphysical differences. We are lucky to have him on staff._

I couldn't help but search further for this Dr Cullen, but as I looked into his research a completely different doctor came up with obviously a very different face but the back-story matched and so did the research project. Everything just continued to get weirder as I continued searching. I found an article in a Seattle medical journal which featured the same photo as the doctor before but in the background was Carlisle trying to look away, it stated Dr Cullen was a miracle worker for being able to locate many different blood clots before technology could. But what really piqued my interest was an article from before I was born, a small news paper clipping about a doctor in Canada, nothing really stood out except the photo; in the background was none other than Dr Cullen not a day older, he had to be at least 60 but somehow still looked late thirty. Either I needed to speak to his plastic surgeon or something deeper was happening.

But all of it was illogical, it is impossible for someone to not age and what happened in the car park was even more impossible than that. But two things, their last name and the colour of their eyes link both of them. Maybe I really had stepped into a completely new kind of crazy when I moved here or maybe I was the only one going crazy. But in a town this small, someone who have had to notice something and from what I heard in the café a boy at school called Ben could have noticed something.

But as I tried to work out how I could even find him at school seeing I had completely distanced myself from the first day I was reminded of the fact the school is smaller than a football field and after the events of today I was going to be spiralled into the spotlight once again.

Shutting my computer I fell onto bed hoping that my clock was lying in telling me it was well past midnight. Setting my alarm to get me up hopefully well before Phil I closed my eyes only to be greeted by a set of yellow eyes who belonged to my rescuer Jasper, my dreams centred around him and what had happened, highlighting his eyes but his voice. I woke up with a shock when my alarm went off, my first thought being: how the hell does a boy from Alaska have a Texan accent?

Getting ready for school took me less than half an hour and I was out the door before Phil was awake thank the lord. Driving into school I couldn't help but notice the skid marks from Tyler's van, parking a fair distance away I walked into school with my hoodie up so maybe I could have some moments to myself. Walking straight into the library I asked where I could see the old year books, sure I hadn't met many people but this town was so small that it wouldn't be hard to find the right Ben by face instead of name.

It wasn't hard to find him, he was surprisingly in the same year so touch wood I might even share a class with him. But before I closed the book I had another scan of the names and faces, my eyes couldn't help but lock on a familiar set of teak eyes and blonde hair, Jasper Cullen. He looked so different in this photo to when I saw him. In the photo he looked like he was in pain, like a cloud of depression hung over him, yet when I saw him, he looked well, alive. I felt a set of eyes peering over my shoulder, I was expecting the librarian but instead it was Ms Maud my creative writing teacher.

"I had a feeling you'd find him," She said very dreamily.  
"Excuse me?"

"Jasper Cullen, it's his books you've got, I had a feeling his name would pop up somewhere in his writing and you would go looking."  
"You mean, he wrote everything in my book all the stories and poetry."  
"Yes ofcorse, dear, who else would have? He left just before you, it was quite strange really but waste not want not. Plus you had the same feeling about you as he did." Before I could open my mouth to say anything more she wandered off. Gosh she was weird a bit like the fortune telling teacher from Harry Potter but it only made me more curious about this Jasper Cullen.

Walking out of the library before the first bell rang I was foolish to think I could still hide. Mike was naturally beside me in a moment, "Gosh Bella we were so afraid when you got hit by Tyler we didn't know if you would make it."  
"Really mike it wasn't so serious," I replied trying to get the attention away from me as his girlfriend Jessica made her appearance, she didn't give me any reason not to like her but I got this feeling that there was something about her that didn't like me. "Oh hey Bella, good to see you're okay," Her words were nice, her tone wasn't, I didn't want to make enemies at this school especially before I even had a chance to make friends so I dutifully directed the attention off me and onto Jessica with a quick, your hair is so lovely how styles it for you comment.

Thankfully before I had to think up another way of getting Jessica to gush to mike Angela and Eric walked towards us and in tow was Ben, just the guy I was looking for. I guess I shouldn't go and buy any lottery tickets because I in the last two days used up all my luck in surviving the crash and than finding Ben without evening having to look. "Hey Bella, it's so good to see you're okay, I wanted to go to the hospital with you but I guess because I wasn't family they didn't let me," Angela greeted genuinely worried.  
"Thank you Angela, I really appreciate that."  
"Also where have you been hiding, I haven't seen you anywhere at lunch and you're so quiet in class."  
"It's just hard fitting in I guess," I replied not really telling the truth neither lying.  
"Well please come and sit with us, we really would like to see you more, also before I forget this is Ben, he is one of Eric's mates."  
"Nice to meet you" I responded returning his handshake. Letting the group fall into their usual habits I simply observed and listened before we all headed of towards our respective home classes.

Waiting for lunch was for the first time painful because all I wanted to do was sit down and get some information but every class seemed to drag on and on, when the bell for lunch rang I was out of the class like a bullet. As I walked with purpose towards the cafeteria I couldn't help but think this was what my life used to be like, lunches surrounded by friends, never wanting to be in class unless I had someone to talk to. But that life was behind me, I wasn't that girl anymore, maybe with some time I might be again but for now, I was still hiding under my walls. Mike and Ben were already sitting down at the table when I arrived, talking about some gaming system I really had no clue but before I knew it Angela, Jessica, Eric and Lauren had joined and the talking really went up a notch.

I didn't know how to approach it and before I really could come up with an appropriate question about Jasper one was asked for me. "So Bella, what did you think of Dr Cullen, dreamy isn't he?" Lauren asked the first time actually directly talking to me.  
"I actually found him a little rude," I responded honestly remembering his words.  
"Maybe he just prefers blondes," She decided flipping back her blonde hair.  
"Though I heard he had children, but I've never seen them," I continued.  
"Yeah, they used to go here, actually they left just before you came. There was Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, they were all really weird to say the least." Jessica answered  
"How so?"  
"Well they were all adopted so they all shacked up within the family, Edward with Alice and Rose with Emmett."  
"What about Jasper?" I couldn't help but ask.  
"He was really quiet, I only spoke to him once, he was genuine and seemed to treat you as equal instead of how the rest treated everyone else. But I dunno it felt like there was something holding him back,"  
"What do you mean Ben?" I asked wanting to know more.

"Here at school, he walked around like he had something to be ashamed of, his family would baby him when they were around him even though he held his own, like one afternoon some jock started making a scene and well to say there was a punch up would be putting it nicely, it only stopped when Emmett came between them. Even though it looked like Jasper beat the shit out of that kid he was still completely fine, a shiner and another bruise but nothing too terrible. But the time when stuff almost hit the fan was when him and Edward went at it one afternoon, they were so fast but what was scary is they seemed like they were both holding back; After that Jasper really shrunk into his shell and his family kept close tabs on him. But he still were helping a lot of people under the radar, Celine still says that if he hadn't stopped her she would have taken her life, she said it was like he could read her mind."

"That's really strange," I commented knowing that there was definitely a lot going on under the surface.  
"Oh come off it Ben, Celine was a complete downer and than someone showed interest, there was nothing special about it."  
"Anyway I saw him the other day as I was going to work and he seemed different, happier, it was like whatever was holding him back was still there but he was over it, maybe fighting it, it just seemed like he had found himself."  
"How weird, he was such a freak." Jessica commented soon directing the conversation back on other things like trips to the Indian reservation no too far from the town. I was to distracted to really listen, I needed to know more, what was with this family, every sign pointed to the fact they were different but it was like no one else saw that.

Excusing myself from the group under the premise of a bathroom break I returned to the car park where I almost got hit by the van. Standing where I was I looked around trying to picture where everything was at the time, cars here and there, my truck, Tyler's van, where I tripped. I tried thinking did I miss Jasper sitting in a car while I was walking, but that didn't make sense he didn't have any reason to be in the car park. So where else could he have come from? Replaying the event for the hundredth time I realised he must have come from the right, and the only thing to my right were cars and the trees surrounding the forest. But what would anyone be doing in a forest outside of a school? Nothing really good came to mind.

Seeing I had no feelings of self-preservation I walked towards the tree line hoping to find something, while hoping also not to find someone. As I walked through the trees however it felt like it did walking through the trees near my house and became oddly comforting. Keeping an eye on the time not to miss anymore classes I tried to find something but there was just nothing out of place until I heard a phone's ringtone. It wasn't mine and it wasn't outside the tree's, either my true fear was realised and there was someone behind me or I had by a long shot found something. The glow from the phone about a meter in front of my cooled my fears as I stooped down to get it, "Carlisle" read across the iPhone and that was all I needed to know. I had found Jasper's phone, but now what was I supposed to do, waltz up to him and say "Hi, thanks for saving my life, although your dad told me to let it go and I couldn't, so I went snooping and found your phone, here you go." Yeah that definitely wasn't going to work, even if I could find him.

Sliding the screen open I went into the call log, I knew I shouldn't be doing it but he would probably assume I did so when I returned it any way so why not. Recent calls were all missed two from Carlisle, eight from Alice, one connected from Alice and then a string of private numbers. The contact list didn't really hold anymore answers either except that most of the names were somewhat weird like Denali, Eleazar, Siobhan, maybe they were places or people, I wouldn't know until I did some more research.

Deciding to skip more school I headed for the library computer room, because when in doubt, Google. Eleazar and Siobhan both returned as names but Denali showed up as a place in Alaska which gave me smaller search parameters and sure enough they popped up, Dr Cullen in the hospital ofcause but what was more interesting was the local school which had pictures of past school events including one with Jasper and obviously the rest of his family. The photos were taken five years ago thus Jasper should have been just in his teen years but instead they were graduating. Either this family were frauds or they seriously didn't age and neither of those boded well with me. Trying to track them further than Denali was almost impossible, there were something's leading to Italy but not directly related to them. Knowing my eyes were getting strained from all the reading I decided to turn off the computer and head into town, class was too far-gone and home was the last place I wanted to be.

Returning to the café I sat down, pad and pen in hand to try and piece everything that I knew together, facts that didn't truly didn't belong together in the first place. The lovely waitress kept my coffee cup full as I tried to get my head around a conclusion, I couldn't help but coming back to an idea that they were somehow connected to a crime syndicate, Carlisle could be the doctor to some serious criminals and keep it under the radar. Or maybe they were doing government tests, Carlisle's projects were something Stan Lee could come up with or atleast dream about.

But that still didn't answer anything about Jasper. Even after everything Ben had spilled there was still nothing conclusive I could know about him except that he saved my life, I couldn't get him out of my head and there was something that inexplicitly drew me to him. I felt the booth move as someone sat down in front of me, I was expecting to see maybe Mike or Angela, but instead I was met with blonde hair and teak coloured eyes.

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